Mourn with those who mourn

Someone wrote to me this morning about having a stillborn child years ago. She said that many people stayed away because they didn’t know what to say. I think so often this is the case. So we stay away or don’t mention it when we are with them because we don’t want to offend them. We worry we will say the wrong thing. We need to get over this. She said someone in her ward that she didn’t know very well came and sat with her and she appreciated it so much. When it first became public knowledge that I was getting divorced a woman in my ward came by with a card and some Reeses Pieces. She didn’t stay long and obviously, it was an awkward situation to talk about, but it meant so much that she would step beyond all that awkwardness and come. And she had no idea that the night of my dad’s death and friend of mine came over with a bunch of bags of Reeses Pieces and just handed them to us and left. He didn’t know what to say, but he came. My memory of that evening sitting around the family room with my siblings eating that candy and laughing and sharing memories of my dad, is a memory I treasure. My friend didn’t have to say a word to express that love.

So when I was responding to this woman this morning the story of Job and his friends came to my mind. I looked it up and it’s perfect. I am so sad I didn’t think of it during the podcast! But in Job 2:11-13 it says, “Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place… for they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him to comfort him. And when they lifted up their eyes afar off and knew him not, they lifted up their voice and wept… So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none of them spake a word unto him, for they saw that his grief was great.” Isn’t that beautiful?? We can learn a great lesson from Job’s 3 friends.

Also, there is a book about validating people and letting them feel their feels that I love. Everyone should read it, at least once a year. I’m overdue. I’ll include the link.

Have a great day!